almost 25 weeks

A couple days ago, we had our 24 week ultrasound and visit with the doc. All is well! Baby measured 6 days ahead! So, my plan to not go past 39 weeks is more than reasonable. We didn’t get any pictures this time because he wouldn’t give us any face… just the back of his head and lots of leg. Fluid level looks good, too.

I did learn from my doc that I’ll do a repeat of the glucola test for gestational diabetis even though I passed at 16 weeks. We’ll do that at 28 weeks, then the TDAP shot at 32. Hubby, J and I all got flu shots on the same day a couple weeks ago, so hopefully we won’t get to go through that again like we did in January with them. Somehow, I avoided it. Thanks, God!

Weight gain: I’m up 20 lbs. which is on par with my pregnancy with J. Belly size measures right where it should be and is low and straight out in front, just like with J.

I spoke with the doc about my hair loss as it’s pretty extreme. She said that if my hemoglobin is normal, then iron deficiency/anemia isn’t an issue. She ordered a TSH test which came back normal as I suspected it would (because it always has). My only other thought if I’m not anemic is it might be a side effect of estrogen on my body. Any other time I’ve been on estrogen medication, I’ve lost hair, especially when it got high. I lost hair when I was pregnant with J, too, and nothing was discovered at that time either. Strange. Open to any suggestions. Maybe I’ll just shave my head. ;)

This week, hubby got to feel baby kick for the first time and J finally did today! J and I saw baby move on my tummy for the first time together. That was pretty fun!


22 weeks – I’m not “that” girl…

I’m not “that” girl who gets offended by anyone commenting about my pregnant body. I know it’s totally changing, face, fingers, toes, and definitely tummy! I’m pretty thrilled to get to do this again, yet still surprised it’s actually happening again.

I’m not “that” girl who gets upset when people rub or touch my baby belly. It’s basically like a women’s basketball under my shirt and it tends to bump into or rub on just about anything I try to squeeze by anyway.

I’m not “that” girl who works-out during pregnancy. Really wish I was. Turns out, carrying an extra 15 lbs with loosening joints is a lot of work. I am doing squats and lunges and some arm weights whenever I think about it, but nothing consistent or even close to resembling a work-out.

I’m also not “that” girl who you could easily recognize when pregnant. My face kinda blows up, specifically nose, lips and cheeks – weird, I know. I’m just hoping to keep my jaw in line as it went WAY out of wack last time and took a lot of therapy to chew again. I didn’t recognize my own face after delivering my first son. I don’t expect that anyone else would either.

Why even say any of this? If anyone reads about the opinions or concerns of pregnant women, it would just appear that all pregnant women are upset anyone ever acknowledges they are actually pregnant! I’m definitely pregnant. I’m definitely different and still changing by the day (bump-size at least). I may be a little concerned about the after-effects on my body, but to have the chance to carry and raise a baby, I’d give just about anything.

It’s taken me a while, but I believe I’m actually starting to get to the “fat and happy” part. I don’t know what’s held me down (anxiety, IVF hormone let-down, trauma from other losses, just being too busy) but I’m glad to be getting closer to connecting with our new babe and celebrating the miracle that is life.

20 weeks — whoa-oh! we’re halfway there!

So thankful! Everything looked good today. Right anterior placenta that reaches across that side probably explains why I feel little to no movement most days.

We saw four chambers in the heart, three vessels in the umbilical cord, different parts of the brain measured, along with large arm bones, thickness at back of neck, saw an empty bladder, then full tummy, kidneys, followed by a full bladder, one hand behind head, one over his boy parts, and legs straight up over his head. He kept his chin tucked pretty tightly into his tummy. Cervix length is good. No placenta issues noticed. Good margins between uterine wall and placenta. No scar tissue noticed. No growth restriction.

I keep wondering, how is this actually possible?

How did I have no uterus, severe Asherman’s syndrome, no endometrial lining building on its own, one day of light periods, and yet, here we are?

I guess it’s just God stuff. One day, we will understand.

One day, we will know why both embryo babies transferred in 2016 didn’t have the same fate as this one. One day, we will understand how lucky we actually are to get this life.

16.5 weeks – and there’s a baby in there!

Through the ultrasound today, there were no concerns identified. Fluid level was more than double what they like to see. Cervix looked good. Placenta didn’t appear to be invading inappropriately. How strange would it be if after all these surgeries and all the struggle with scar tissue, that we wouldn’t actually suffer any of the typical problems from scar tissue during pregnancy? I can pray.

“Dinosaur” (as named by Preschool J) was pretty chill. Only stretching out a leg and rolling away from the doppler when we tried to hear his heart. Preschool J joined us at the ultrasound today. We had his portable dvd player along for the visit as he’s not a fan of sitting still, but loves a good movie. He looked up and remarked how cool it was then went right back to his movie. He did say that Dinosaur was waving his foot at us and that he wanted to come out. !!!! Um, no, not yet, he’s only the size of a baked potato, we told him. :)

While I told my co-workers about our glorious news around 13 weeks, I have held off announcing to students. The cloud over my head of “I don’t want to tell them and have to un-tell them” kept me from sharing and also kept me hiding my baby belly as much as possible. I’m relieved to share our secret (I’m not a fan of keeping secrets) and also wear more of my clothes.

Other than a secondary sinus infection on top of the viral infection that I still have from four weeks ago, I’m feeling pretty good. No more nausea, but definitely getting achy in my hips and belly near the end of the day. All is well. It’s all worth it. Preschool J frequently kisses or rubs my belly and says, “I love you baby brother.”

14 weeks – more movement!

And we are 14 weeks, officially in the second trimester! Last week, I was feeling great and eating everything and anything. Just yesterday, I started smelling things that were much more offensive (totally normal things that all of a sudden didn’t smell normal). This morning, nausea returned and I sit here, now, not wanting to make anything at all for supper because, well, it’s all gross (says my nausea).

This little one has been moving away! I’m surprised by how much I feel the movements. Sometimes it a pressure push-back, sometimes more of a roll, and every once in a while, a firm kick. I don’t remember this happening so certainly with J, but I guess it is easier now that I know what I’m feeling and not blaming it all on gas.

Gas, by the way, is not fun. Makes me sympathize with babies when gas makes them so uncomfortable and fussy. Gas :(

Other symptoms: aches and pains in my lower abdomen (probably stretching things), no idea when my bladder is full except that I’m crampy/uncomfortable/can’t sleep, still tired all the time all the time, and belly is making kids ask and adults curious even with baggy shirts.

I believe I’m finally on the tail end of the viral sinus infection I’ve been managing for a week and a half. Things I learned: the nasal rinse bottles help a lot, as does Flonase, and numbing lozenges for those sore throats. I have a feeling I’ll be nasal rinsing for the rest of this pregnancy. ;)

13 weeks

… and a sore throat :S

But feeling much less (maybe even not at all) nauseous. Tired, for sure. And dry, dry eyes. Drinking water like I breathe air and visiting the bathroom just the same.

Veggies are making their way back into my diet. Gummy bears are also a favorite.

Pretty sure I felt flutters from baby today!

Lots of aches in my joints and belly.

Second trimester is within a week! Next dr. visit is in three weeks. It will be great to see the babe again. :)

12 weeks… holding steady

Today, we are officially 12.5 weeks. We decided against the first trimester screening NT scan and bloodwork. With PGS five years ago, we don’t feel we would learn anything from the NT scan and such. Even if we did learn something from it, we aren’t going to change the course. If something operable would be detected, nothing would be done until after our 16 week ultrasound anyway, and they could identify it then. Basically, ultrasounds make me cramp and this one was going to be 45 minutes, I was told….. not interested in that, especially if it doesn’t improve the quality of life for our littlest one.

So, I am trying to remind myself that this is actually happening! This is real! My boss knows and is very excited for us. She knows of our struggle and has great empathy, celebrating our miracle.

Like so many other moms in waiting, I’m having moments of great doubt, feeling very un-pregnant… except for the nausea, exhaustion, and growing belly. I’d forgotten how much it hides by morning then reappears by evening.

Literally, day by day, I struggle with doubt.

My heart is 100% confident that God knows better than us and regardless of the result of this pregnancy, we are all good. He has us in His hands and His plans are always better than ours. So, why does the doubt still squeeze in? It’s my self-defense from our previous loss, failed transfers, cancelled cycles and not-so-happy fertility surprises. I’m praising God I don’t have to do this alone, be this strong alone, and I can rest well with Him.

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