Black and White blurry photos

We heard One Percent’s heart beat today! 96 bpm. O.P. is measuring right on track at 6 wks 1 day. We were able to see the heart flicker, but O.P. was hard to see on the ultrasound. I guess our baby is either camera shy or is already being difficult! (Just like us!)

Thank you for all the prayers and support. I’m still praying for all of you, too.

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Number Fixation

So I am pregnant. Excited! Thrilled!
… and yet, the clinic has number fixation. First, my AMH was low, now I prove their 1% odds wrong and get pregnant. They do betas and are fixated on how HIGH the numbers are…. but from what I have read, they are not that high. They appear to be right in the normal zone. Because of these “high” numbers, they want to do a 6 week ultrasound to check if it is ectopic or if there are multiples. I have had no bleeding whatsoever, no cramping beyond constipation and gas, nothing to worry about right? I plan on calling my OB tomorrow to see if this is standard or if the clinic is just trying to squeeze a little more out of us before they return us to the OB.

hCG Beta on Day 20 past ovulation: 1842 (should double every 48 hours)
hCG Beta on Day 22 past ovulation: 3493
Looks great to me!

I think I’m just going to enjoy being pregnant and not worry about their numbers – be they high or low!

P.S. I called my OB and they say this is normal for them to want to keep an eye on things before they transfer me over to my OB.

BFP!!!???!!!

I simply have to share! On the 12th, I was on day 30 of my cycle, temperature had not taken a dive, so I took a test… I was so shocked, I laid it down for 3 minutes just to see if those two lines that immediately showed up would go away… I guess that makes me just over 4 weeks pregnant!
I’m doing my best to keep calm about it. I plan to test again next week and then make an appointment.
I’m amazed! Feeling so blessed! Thank God for this one percent!

Don’t Worry, I am Praying for You

I cannot thank all of you (my family, friends, acquaintances, and those who share a similar journey) enough. So many people have said they are praying and keeping us in their thoughts. You all have helped me find peace and acceptance of the situation as it is and as it may be in the future. You have helped me find peace.

I guess the only thing I can really do is to pray for them (you), too. We all need positive thoughts and prayers, right? Whether it is for babies, health, peace, understanding, patience, clarity, direction… the list is endless.

So my message to all of you is

Whatever your concern, please don’t worry. I am praying for you every day.

 

Infertility cause: Low AMH. Low AMH cause: ???? Stress. Stress cause: Me?

When we met with the Reproductive Endocrinologist, she had a long list of infertility causes and we went through them all. She also had a list of things to blame for Low AMH. None.

I have read about stress and its affect on infertility. Supposedly, it should only affect ovulation… but why wouldn’t it affect everything else? When your body is stressed, does everything keep working just like normal? Do you not get headaches and eye twitches and sleepless nights? Or end up with ulcers, digestive problems, acid reflux?

I have to imagine our baby-making organs (at least for women) react in a similar manner. How are things to work correctly if all the energy in your being is focused on getting through each day?

That frightens me. How many years have I been destroying myself by deadlines, performance anxiety, penny-pinching, and worrying about every little detail?

If only I had known…

From now on, I am going to do what I can to let go of those things or let go of that part of me that stresses about those things. I will focus on my own health – through acupuncture, best quality foods, massage, and taking time to breathe. I will love others as completely as I can and I will love myself.