Try, try again. :)

Good news today. Probably the best news we could get. Lining was almost 6 and triple layer and our doc said he would transfer with a lining like this. !!!! That means, my uterus which was completely obliterated 7 months ago, is now functioning, maybe not optimally, but functioning.

We are going to initiate a period with medicine, then repeat the meds used last cycle with a few tweaks to the plan. If things look good along the way, on day 20, my doc checks the lining again and we potentially transfer an embryo.

If anything weird presents itself along the way or the lining is not satisfactory on day 20, we go into surgery where he will remove more of the scar tissue from the initial damage. This will hopefully provide more “real estate” (as he says) and give us a better chance to grow a healthy lining and baby.

Doing a mind overhaul over here. I’ve got so much to love in my life. There’s no point fixating on the past and things I cannot change. I must focus on keeping this me (scars and all) as happy and healthy as I can, which mandates lots of fun, laughter, and a full belly – at least that’s what I think. :)

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I am a science experiment.

If I didn’t feel like an experiment before, I certainly do now. We tackled the “unknown” causing us to not conceive when we enlisted the help of IVF and were gifted with baby J. Now, adding to that “unknown” my battered and scarred uterus, and we are all left scratching our heads.

This month was prepared to be a mock cycle, trying new meds to build up the uterine lining sufficiently. We are up against quite a challenge due to the severity of the scar tissue deep in the uterus. So, of course, my body would decide to rebel against all reason and, even while on estrogen, it would decide to begin sloughing off the functional layer of uterine lining that we are so desperately trying to build…. 7 days early.

It’s day 14, but my body is acting like we are on day 21 or further. I’ve had medicated cycles before where the sloughing didn’t begin until well past day 28. What is going on?

The orders are to stay on meds unless the bleeding continues, then we go back to birth control pills, but either way, we keep our final appointment next week. I can’t imagine what my doc is going to say. I hope he will have experience with sassy uterus’ like mine and have a plan all ready to go, with extra support during the last two weeks so we keep things from falling apart too soon like they did this time.

I do feel that things are progressing in the right direction. I feel more bloated in my lower abdomen – not pleasant, but when the goal is to build and promote blood flow, I think this is a positive. The acupuncture seems to have eliminated any cramping associated with all of this, so that’s great, and it’s also helped immensely with my anxiety and general feeling of being overwhelmed by the unexpected/disappointment/”sky is falling” moments. I don’t know what did the trick to get rid of the fluid (acupuncture, viagra, pentoxy, or cutting out dairy/sugar), but it was gone yesterday. Hopefully, we can keep it away. I kind of expected some strange effects from the viagra, but there is nothing to report. Ever since I started taking the pentoxy with food, the nausea/headache hasn’t returned.

So, I now see a chiropractor, acupuncturist, and fertility specialist on the regular – they are all amazing and wonderful, I might add. I have eliminated gluten from my diet and nearly eliminated dairy and sugar. I take supplements three times a day, a various concoction of prescription meds which change each month and go in both ends, and at least a couple times a week, I give myself an injection (sometimes subQ, sometimes IM).

This has become my normal.

Daily, I remind myself how lucky I am to have this life with my husband, toddler, cat, dog, house of my own, parents, brother, in-laws, and friends who are always willing to listen and help any way they can. My new normal is wild, but it won’t last long in the grand scheme, just as time with my loved ones will pass all too quickly.

Soaking in the moments that bring me joy and doing my best to smile through the rest.

Gluten. Dairy. Sugar.

I said “good-bye” to gluten years ago. I also greatly limited my dairy and sugar exposure not long after that. I felt noticeably better after just three days of eliminating gluten. Any time I’ve accidentally ingested gluten, I now pay the price of up-all-night discomfort and up to a week of digestion issues. Dairy and sugar haven’t been as obviously cruel to me, but I had a feeling I was going to need to kick them out of my diet again.

There is a good chance that the fluid in my uterus could be caused or at least magnified by the dairy/sugar combination.

I would like to encourage anyone, whether you are in a similar situation or struggling with other health issues, to try changing your diet. It doesn’t have to be huge. Just take it one day at a time. Add in other treats like avocados and coconut oil. Buy good foods that are higher quality.

Give it a try.

 

On another note, the ultrasound today showed a lining around 4.5 and it was still patchy. Estrogen was 1391. I was told that all was going as expected, but I will be increasing the estrace in the evening. There was only a sliver of fluid this time around, so maybe we are making progress.

A spoonful of sugar.

The ultrasound on Dec. 31 revealed a rather large cyst on one ovary, but the bloodwork revealed that it was only producing estrogen, not progesterone, so my doc gave the all-clear to begin medication for our mock cycle. Nothing like dropping another $500 plus just one week after Christmas for a cycle that will only end with a regroup with our doc (no transfer, no possible pregnancy).

Here’s the scoop: Acupuncture, viagra suppositories am and pm (yes, viagra, I KNOW, RIGHT!!), estrace am and pm, Pentoxil am and pm, vitamin E 1000 units, and DelEstrogen shot IM twice a week. That is in addition to the prenatal and low dose aspirin in the morning, B vitamins at lunch, and calcium and vitamin D in the evening. The goal of the new medication is to increase blood flow to the uterus in hopes of improving the damaged lining and getting rid of the fluid.

My parents came to visit over New Year’s and showered us with lots of sweets, gifts, and most of all, love. They loved up baby J and did their best to lift our spirits. After the first day of meds, I went down for the count with a headache, stomachache, sensitivity to light/sound, and a little bit of dizziness. They were here to help my husband prepare supper, play with J, and get the kitchen back in order. Two days later, I’m still feeling a little uncertain with my stomach, but I’m confident it will fade as my body adjusts to this new medication plan.

Yesterday, I returned to acupuncture. She is so good at what she does and really takes care of me. She shared her optimism as she has helped other women in similar circumstances. I have forgotten how much acupuncture does for me. I’m so glad my doc recommended it along with the new meds.

I’m interested to know if there is anyone else diagnosed with Asherman’s who had successful transfers or, at least, experience with these meds. I’d love to hear what they learned and where they are now.

This week, I learned that we may be at the end of what traditional medicine can do for us. We may only (and gratefully) be a family of three, but there is a lot of good in our life. We have a lot of wonderful right here right now. Loving and supportive families. A strong relationship. Ability to pay our bills and have some “fun money” also. Baby J who is thriving and brings us joy every day. I just need to remember all of that “sugar” to “help this medicine go down” and I need to let myself enjoy the wonderful, too.