14 weeks – more movement!

And we are 14 weeks, officially in the second trimester! Last week, I was feeling great and eating everything and anything. Just yesterday, I started smelling things that were much more offensive (totally normal things that all of a sudden didn’t smell normal). This morning, nausea returned and I sit here, now, not wanting to make anything at all for supper because, well, it’s all gross (says my nausea).

This little one has been moving away! I’m surprised by how much I feel the movements. Sometimes it a pressure push-back, sometimes more of a roll, and every once in a while, a firm kick. I don’t remember this happening so certainly with J, but I guess it is easier now that I know what I’m feeling and not blaming it all on gas.

Gas, by the way, is not fun. Makes me sympathize with babies when gas makes them so uncomfortable and fussy. Gas :(

Other symptoms: aches and pains in my lower abdomen (probably stretching things), no idea when my bladder is full except that I’m crampy/uncomfortable/can’t sleep, still tired all the time all the time, and belly is making kids ask and adults curious even with baggy shirts.

I believe I’m finally on the tail end of the viral sinus infection I’ve been managing for a week and a half. Things I learned: the nasal rinse bottles help a lot, as does Flonase, and numbing lozenges for those sore throats. I have a feeling I’ll be nasal rinsing for the rest of this pregnancy. ;)

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13 weeks

… and a sore throat :S

But feeling much less (maybe even not at all) nauseous. Tired, for sure. And dry, dry eyes. Drinking water like I breathe air and visiting the bathroom just the same.

Veggies are making their way back into my diet. Gummy bears are also a favorite.

Pretty sure I felt flutters from baby today!

Lots of aches in my joints and belly.

Second trimester is within a week! Next dr. visit is in three weeks. It will be great to see the babe again. :)

12 weeks… holding steady

Today, we are officially 12.5 weeks. We decided against the first trimester screening NT scan and bloodwork. With PGS five years ago, we don’t feel we would learn anything from the NT scan and such. Even if we did learn something from it, we aren’t going to change the course. If something operable would be detected, nothing would be done until after our 16 week ultrasound anyway, and they could identify it then. Basically, ultrasounds make me cramp and this one was going to be 45 minutes, I was told….. not interested in that, especially if it doesn’t improve the quality of life for our littlest one.

So, I am trying to remind myself that this is actually happening! This is real! My boss knows and is very excited for us. She knows of our struggle and has great empathy, celebrating our miracle.

Like so many other moms in waiting, I’m having moments of great doubt, feeling very un-pregnant… except for the nausea, exhaustion, and growing belly. I’d forgotten how much it hides by morning then reappears by evening.

Literally, day by day, I struggle with doubt.

My heart is 100% confident that God knows better than us and regardless of the result of this pregnancy, we are all good. He has us in His hands and His plans are always better than ours. So, why does the doubt still squeeze in? It’s my self-defense from our previous loss, failed transfers, cancelled cycles and not-so-happy fertility surprises. I’m praising God I don’t have to do this alone, be this strong alone, and I can rest well with Him.