Until next time

When I began writing in this space, my goal was to record the journey to have a baby after a diagnosis of diminished ovarian reserve or premature ovarian failure all because of one hormone level: the AMH (anti mullein hormone). I hadn’t been able to find any accounts of such a situation, so this is the story of mine.
In the timeline, I have linked back to each page so you can follow through chronologically. We went about trying to conceive with just about every possible method other than IVF before we finally went that way and were blessed with our amazing baby boy.
I will not abandon this page. I will reply if you comment or write to me. I will be here to support you as you navigate this path.
When the time comes that we attempt to bring a sibling into the world for our baby J, I will return to let you know we are on the path again. Your support and encouragement is a large reason I am here today cuddling my little boy in my arms. Thank you! I wish you all the happiness, love, and peace your heart can hold!


He is here!

Our dreams finally came true and our little man has arrived. We will call him J for short. I guess I’m not so sure I should say “little” because he arrived at a whopping 9 lbs. 8 oz. and 22 inches long. We desired a labor and delivery with the least amount of medical intervention, but it simply wasn’t meant to be especially not with his size.
At 40 weeks and 3 days, some contractions started a little after 1am and my water broke and began leaking at 2am. We checked in at the hospital around 3am, began the process of being admitted, confirmed that the fluid was amniotic, and got settled into a room (aka my hubby found the coffee machine).
At 4am, I was dilated to 2cm. After multiple laps around the loop in the maternity wing, I was still at 2cm at 8am, so pitocin was started to speed up dilation and zofran for nausea at 8:30am. John took a nap. The nurse planned to come in and check around 11 unless she saw reason to come in sooner on the monitors. Instead, I became alarmed by what I saw in the amniotic fluid during a bathroom trip, but the nurse wasn’t ready to call it meconium yet. After laboring on a ball while hubby rubbed my back and then laboring for a while in bed, the discharge that originally concerned me began to concern my hubby too and the nurse called it meconium in the amniotic fluid. The other unique thing was that baby J still had an intact bag on his head. Due to the meconium, we knew we needed to hurry things along since I was only about 4cm dilated, so the pitocin was increased.
At noon, still only 4 cm dilated, I was either going to puke and pass out or get an epidural, so epidural it was – it did take two pokes but it was placed perfectly. I was able to get a little bit of a nap in while my hubby updated the family. Very quickly I went from 4 cm to 8 or 9 cm because they were able to increase the pitocin and consequently the contractions much more with the epidural in action. Soon it was time to push and with the first push, that pesky bag that no one else was able to tear (except for J obviously) finally broke! After 2 hours of solid pushing, I needed and episiotomy and baby needed a little vacuum help during the last 2 contractions (8 pushes) and he arrived screaming and beautiful. Baby J was born at 4:56pm and came immediately to my chest while I cried and said “oh baby” too many times to remember. His eyes opened right away as he lay screaming on my chest having all his first exams performed – the most surreal moment of my life.
It wasn’t long after that our excellent doc realized the placenta would not detach. My uterus was so contracted that it was necessary to send me off to the O.R. for a D&C. They began to prepare for that transition as they shifted my babe over to the scale and we all saw his weight and height… I’m still in shock that he was so much larger than I anticipated! Woah.
I was awake but well medicated during surgery and my hubby brought baby J to me in the recovery room around 6:30pm. During surgery, the nurse came in to ask what I would like to do for feeding because I wanted to breast feed right away but the necessity for surgery overroad those desires, and with the options of formula or donated Breast milk, both my hubby and I chose the breast milk – good thing we were on the page with so many of our goals that even the unknown decisions were in unison. I had wanted both of us to have some alone time with baby before family came in, so he got his while I was in surgery and I had mine in the recovery room. It was beautiful.
At 7:30pm, I was taken back to our room and hubby brought the family in to meet the newest man in the house. Every moment since has been part of a huge learning curve but we are so in love and amazed by baby J.
I don’t mean to put my labor and delivery story out there to scare anyone or make anyone feel sympathy for me (though it is appreciated). We began with one goal on our birth plan: whatever is necessary to bring our babe safely into this world. We then added the desire to have the least amount of medical intervention possible. The latter of the two simply wasn’t meant to be (it’s almost funny how far from it we were) but I gave it my all and our first goal (and the very most important one) was achieved. We are just so glad our babe is finally here. Welcome baby J!


It’s here! Due date day! But he’s not here yet : )


From 5 weeks to 40 weeks! Wow, are we really here? I am so grateful for every minute with which we’ve been gifted with our little man. We are so excited to meet him! You’d think I would finally be able to breathe a sigh of relief and enjoy these last few moments before our lives are completely changed by this little one, but I still worry, of course, every moment – is he moving? does he have enough room? he feels so squished. did I drink enough water for him today? has he moved enough? does he need food?   <-  Seriously, this is ridiculous! We love him so much already and look forward to making our joyous announcement within the next week.

39 weeks, 4 days – our last week!

Today, we decided if Baby hasn’t arrived by my appointment next Monday, we will get some help to get things moving forward. This is our last week before we welcome our little guy home! We are so excited to meet him!

Last week, I had one more big event at work and my vehicle ate its transmission. This is the second transmission it has gone through and the cost to replace it is double the value of my vehicle… so we are loosely car-shopping, specifically for a good-sized, used SUV. Every one I find online is sold before we get to it. We actually test-drove a Tahoe we both loved but by the time we returned to the dealership, it was sold! I guess there is something better out there for us!

So, I’m stuck being dependent upon my hubby for any trips (to work, from work, to the store, anything) and it’s such a strange feeling. On the positive side, when Baby arrives within the next week, we will have a few weeks to find something we feel really good about.

Still feeling fantastic, pregnant, but fantastic! I’m loving every moment I get to carry this little man with me and don’t have to share him with anyone else. We have been waiting a long time to meet our little one and see our dreams in the flesh.

Any positive thoughts or prayers for Baby to arrive on his own power before Monday will be much appreciated. We’d love to avoid medical intervention, but we will accept the help we need without regret. Thank you for all the strength you’ve provided us through thoughts and prayers during our journey. I look forward to sharing his image, name, and birth story when the time comes.