8 weeks 3 days, heartbeat 172!

We still have a little bub brewing! And baby is right on track with our last ultrasound (7 weeks measured 6 weeks 3 days – 9 weeks measured 8 weeks 3 days). Baby wasn’t sitting in a very photogenic position and wasn’t moving much, just swiping around with hands and fingers.

I’ll be honest, I’ve had to repeat to myself that “everything will be fine, no matter how this goes” as I’m having the hardest time believing this is real (even though I’m still experiencing the “comfort” of nausea). ;)

I will have an appointment with my high-risk OB at 10 weeks, so in a week and a half or so. We will have another ultrasound that day and talk about what’s next. Right now, what’s next is the count down for meds. I have 20 more progesterone injections, 5 more estrogen injections, and about 40 more estradiol pills either by mouth or suppository. It will be nice to move on from this part of our lives.

Today, we had our last scheduled appointment at our fertility clinic. We’ve been going there since 2012 and we finally have met the end of our fertility journey. We look forward to joining the clinic on the celebration days now, hopefully, with two IVF babes in arms. <3

 

 

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8 weeks – bleh :S

I am seriously so thankful for feeling this nasty. It is a comfort to me that SOMEthing is actually going on! It’s too early to have a baby bump, so anything that shows is just bloat from hormones or food, or both. It’s too early to feel baby move. I remember counting kicks when J was a baby. That gave me some reassurance that he was doing just fine.

The only thing I’ve got to even hint that I’m pregnant is this nasty first trimester nausea (“morning” sickness) and extreme fatigue. Fatigue like I once went to bed around 11p and rose at 6:30a with a normal day of work in between the repeat of that. Last night, I went to bed at 9p, woke up at 7:30a, took a one hour nap with Toddler J in the afternoon, and I’m ready to get off to bed again…. but it’s only 7:30p…. so I’ll wait.

The other part of being mildly nauseous and hungry all the time is strange, too. I’m craving spaghetti-o’s tonight and I don’t think I’ve had them since college, 2003ish.

Again, I’m so grateful for these symptoms because I would be otherwise 100% convinced that nothing was changing, not even a chance.

This first trimester stuff is no joke! Kudos to ladies that have done this when it’s recent enough they can even remember what the first tri is like. I’m sure I felt this way with J, but I just don’t remember. Figured I should write it down just in case anyone else was feeling crazy, like I just need to hibernate until week 14….. bleh.       ;)

Ultrasound updated development: 6 weeks 3 days, 123 bpm

So, we have a baby! Baby measured 6 weeks 3 days instead of 7 weeks. I anticipated this due to how low our first HCG number was, possibly due to late implantation of our frozen embryo. We saw the heartbeat fluttering away at 123 beats per minute. We didn’t get to hear it as they didn’t want to send that much energy toward baby until it is bigger. We have a baby!

Still fighting the nausea, so that’s a great sign. I postponed my meeting with my high-risk OB until later in July. I was scheduled to meet with him next week, which would be 8 weeks by my last period, but since we’re not quiet there yet, I feel more comfortable waiting to have the almost 9 week ultrasound at the fertility clinic, then follow-up with my OB a week and a half later when I’m 10 weeks by our recalculation. It sure seems like a lot of appointments and very early, but it will be nice to have so many opportunities to peek in on baby’s progress over the next month.

We could really use your prayers as we lost Baby Drew, our first pregnancy, right around this time. Drew just stopped growing around 7 weeks. I know that fear is a lie, but the memories are still so close to my heart. Every stage of this pregnancy will be a huge achievement and no day will go unappreciated.

Here’s our first baby photo from yesterday:

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Beta 44 – now grow baby grow!

Staying the course with all meds. Feeling slightly nauseous, tired, all the normal stuff with all the progesterone and what not. 44 is not very high, but it can grow, so now we’re all praying baby sticks around and that number grows exponentially by Tuesday.

So grateful to get this chance. So grateful to have my little man, J.

J was a rainbow baby for us after our miscarriage. Now, two miscarriages later, we are hoping for a second rainbow baby. I guess that would make a double rainbow in our family. Praying for that double rainbow and believing that God knows best.

4dp5dt and feeling very “normal”

It’s the first Saturday after our smooth, uneventful Tuesday FET of our final embryo, retrieved and fertilized in March of 2013. I cry just thinking about all the love and prayers sent our way during this final chapter in our IVF story.

Just typing that felt so strange.

Symptoms-wise, really nothing out of the ordinary. I’m out of breath and tired but the progesterone and high estrogen are probably to blame. I had some ache/cramping yesterday and a little the day before, but no twinges or things that I remember feeling before. I don’t really have too much anxiety about any of it actually. Just feeling like it’s another normal day with normal things to do… but then taking a step back on everything so I don’t get stressed. And watching embarrassingly funny movies when I might prefer a good action or suspense movie. And eating lots of beets. Oh, and the shots, shots, shots and more shots. That’s not my normal.

About the shots and protocol, I’m not on prednisone this time like I have been in the past. I am, however, on lovenox through hcg/estrogen rise. And still on baby aspirin. Along with estrace suppositories twice a day, estrogen IM twice a week, and PIO every morning.

Definitely feeling God’s presence through all the prayers for courage and peace in this process. My flipchart this morning even said this, “June 2 – ‘Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.’ Philippians 4:6”

Here is embryo #3 and the flower hair tie Toddler J wanted me to wear to meet #3:

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Decision Day. Lining 7.3!

FET is a go!!

Last week, the ultrasound revealed a triple layer lining at 5.8mm. Today, just five days later, the lining was at 7.3 and our doc felt good about moving forward with the transfer. The human growth hormone was added to my protocol after some new research came out in December of 2017. Maybe it was that. Maybe it was the time off from treatments. Either way, God is in control and whatever happens is for the best. We may not understand it, but He knows better than us.

We trigger tomorrow, then switch to other meds, cutting out the pentoxy, viagra, and vitamin E, adding progesterone every day and hcg shots every couple days for a week. After transfer, I’ll also add lovenox shots. After meeting with my doc today, I did an intralipid infusion. The IV needle is never fun, but it really wasn’t a big deal. The taste of the intralipid is so strange. Why do I taste it when it’s put straight into my blood? Crazy.

Super bloated and craving chocolate. Even had a dream that I ate a deliciously soft, even fluffy chocolate cookie AND a brownie….. with a panic attack soon to follow due to “messing everything up” but then I woke up. Whew. ;) I have the most vivid dreams on IVF meds.

 

The pill.

So, while this isn’t big news, we are back on the pill over here. Good news is that I made it through 7 months without ANY medication. No hormones. No pills, patches, injections, ultrasounds, blood draws, nothing. Unfortunately, that changed last week because the duration and strength of my periods were less and less, which is not the way we want things to go if we want to avoid surgery and have any chance at building a lining to transfer our final embryo. Good news, again, is that I DID have a cycle of normal length on a regular basis without any medical assistance.

So, good news and less desirable news, but I’d say I already beat the odds of being in pre-menopause by my mid 30’s (because I’m there, dude). If it weren’t for physician error, I would have a functioning lining in my uterus and have a very good chance of a successful pregnancy. No lawsuit or anger will ever change my circumstances in that concern.

At the moment, the medication plan is to follow the pill for one month, then estradiol by mouth in AM and suppository by PM for 28 days, followed by progesterone pills for 7 days, then, repeat the estradiol/progesterone protocol for 2 more months. So, four months of medication and another evaluation to decide any further course of treatment.

I feel surrounded by babies. My heart still aches to have another. I pray that we will, but I’m also enjoying spoiling Toddler J with all my love and snuggles. He amazes us every day… and challenges us, too.

Our family is experiencing other hardships on his side and mine. We are praying for his father and my brother. Praying for healing that surpasses all expectations.

We ask for your prayers right now, for our family and for our own future. We pray for faith in His will and guidance. We also pray for the knowledge, foresight and wisdom of the medical professionals who provide care for us and our family. I find myself taking my health, strength, sight, etc. for granted every day.

Lord, we are ever so grateful. Help us use these gifts to bring the glory to You. Amen.

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