Good night, sweet prince.

Our first beta on Friday was 7 and that number fell even further to 3 today. I knew it was coming, because a 7 at 11 days past a 5 day transfer is not a good number.

Estrogen is sky high 2000+ and progesterone is over 100. The crash will be fierce.

I did absolutely everything I could do. Prayer. Prayer warriors. Acupuncture twice a week for 6 weeks prior. Blood-building diet. Bone broth. High protein diet. 2-day bedrest. Acupuncture on site before and after transfer. Didn’t lift anything over 10 lbs. Barely used any stairs. Watched funny movies. Ate pineapple core for 5 days after transfer. Took Lupron, Cialis, Pentoxifylline, intralipids IV drip, low dose aspirin, extra vitamin E, food-based prenatal, extra methylated B vitamins, extra vitamin D, estrogen suppositories and injections, progesterone injections, HCG injections, no exercise, no caffeine, no chocolate, no coffee, no dairy, no sugar, no alcohol, no gluten, organic as much as possible, and still… no success.

I cannot take this burden on myself. I did everything there was to do. Now I pray for peace that only God can provide – that which passes all understanding.

But tonight, I say good night to our baby boy, our prince. We will meet you again one day.

Be still.

Exodus 14:14 “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”


So, I’m doing my best… Bedrest day 1. My clinic required two days back when we transferred baby J, but now they say just one. Since the transfer in March with one day of bedrest did not work, I’m going back to two days (nobody told me to, I just decided it was best to go with what worked before).

Baby J is at daycare and hubby is at work.

By the way, look at the size of that embryo! The others we transferred were never coming out of their shell like this one. The dense part near the bottom center is the baby and the rest will turn into placenta. The transfer was smooth. No need to give time for the bladder to fill and no need to empty any off the top. In the past, I’ve needed just a little more time or was overfull. Guess that repetition has helped me.

Trying to find funny stuff to watch over the next two weeks. If you have any recommendations, please let me know! I’ll watch “Sisters” for sure. Anything else?

Jimmy Fallon is my “go-to” right now. Here’s one for you all:

http://www.nbc.com/the-tonight-show/video/first-textual-experience-with-sting/3107263

Jimmy is hilarious, but Sting… well, he’s Sting… sooo good. And yes, all I’m doing in bed right now is eating.

In less than 24 hours…

…we will get to meet our third frozen embryo. We are cleared for takeoff with our FET scheduled for tomorrow at 2pm. I can hardly believe it!

We are so grateful for all your prayers. Only God could give us the endurance for this and the strength to believe this can work.

The endometrial lining was between 6 and 7mm with a triple-layer. The scars in the basalis layer of my uterus are still there, but “the embryo doesn’t know they are” said our doc today. Ha! Funny stuff he says.

If you want to reach me, I will be doing … well, basically nothing except focusing on positive energy, prayers (for so many people also needing prayers right now), and doing my best not to annoy my loved ones who will be waiting on me for the next 2, or 3, or 6 days. :)

Please stick around and meet us in about eight and half months, little frosty em-baby!

Try, try again. :)

Good news today. Probably the best news we could get. Lining was almost 6 and triple layer and our doc said he would transfer with a lining like this. !!!! That means, my uterus which was completely obliterated 7 months ago, is now functioning, maybe not optimally, but functioning.

We are going to initiate a period with medicine, then repeat the meds used last cycle with a few tweaks to the plan. If things look good along the way, on day 20, my doc checks the lining again and we potentially transfer an embryo.

If anything weird presents itself along the way or the lining is not satisfactory on day 20, we go into surgery where he will remove more of the scar tissue from the initial damage. This will hopefully provide more “real estate” (as he says) and give us a better chance to grow a healthy lining and baby.

Doing a mind overhaul over here. I’ve got so much to love in my life. There’s no point fixating on the past and things I cannot change. I must focus on keeping this me (scars and all) as happy and healthy as I can, which mandates lots of fun, laughter, and a full belly – at least that’s what I think. :)