Be still.

Exodus 14:14 “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”


So, I’m doing my best… Bedrest day 1. My clinic required two days back when we transferred baby J, but now they say just one. Since the transfer in March with one day of bedrest did not work, I’m going back to two days (nobody told me to, I just decided it was best to go with what worked before).

Baby J is at daycare and hubby is at work.

By the way, look at the size of that embryo! The others we transferred were never coming out of their shell like this one. The dense part near the bottom center is the baby and the rest will turn into placenta. The transfer was smooth. No need to give time for the bladder to fill and no need to empty any off the top. In the past, I’ve needed just a little more time or was overfull. Guess that repetition has helped me.

Trying to find funny stuff to watch over the next two weeks. If you have any recommendations, please let me know! I’ll watch “Sisters” for sure. Anything else?

Jimmy Fallon is my “go-to” right now. Here’s one for you all:

http://www.nbc.com/the-tonight-show/video/first-textual-experience-with-sting/3107263

Jimmy is hilarious, but Sting… well, he’s Sting… sooo good. And yes, all I’m doing in bed right now is eating.

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36 weeks, a fingertip and 50%

Today, we are 36 weeks and 4 days! My blood pressure was 117/76, weighed in at 156 (up 31 lbs), his heartbeat was in the 140s, my belly is measuring 36 cm, he is head down but not engaged, I am a fingertip dilated and 50% effaced! So many things to check on today. They did the strep B test and will have results next week. While doc was checking on me, she said I had a contraction! I had no idea. I guess I’m probably having contractions even thought I keep saying “no” when I’m asked at exams. I guess I don’t know what I should be feeling for in a contraction. So many things to learn!

28 weeks 4 days and very thankful

Our appointment today was full of good news. No comment was made about my weight (up to 148 from 125 pre-pregnancy) other than “everything looks good.” Baby boy’s heartbeat was in the 150s, belly measured 29 cm, and I didn’t have any ill effects from the glucose drink to test for gestational diabetes. In fact, if the bottle had been any bigger, I would’ve had more! In my opinion, it was like a sports drink/gatorade/powerade. Results from the test will be in on Wednesday and they will only call if something isn’t okay. 

I can’t help thinking how thankful I am to be here. I can’t help but pray for everyone who has been and is praying for us. I couldn’t help but realize that my due date is two years almost to the day that Baby Drew went to heaven. Now, here we are and I don’t think we could be happier. We now know love that we didn’t before – love for each other and from those supporting us. Very loved. Thank you.

Maybe I’m weird…

…but I miss reading about those babies. You know, those people who struggled so to conceive and then, they finally do and they disappear. Their last post is “I’m Pregnant” and then… nothing.

Maybe they are still scared and just trying to focus on all the happiness they can.

Maybe they felt pain whenever they would read of others’ successful pregnancies.

Maybe they are just trying to avoid adding to the pain for other people.

Maybe I’m weird. I miss them. I honestly do wish them and their precious babies well.

A breath of fresh air!

We met with a new doctor at a new clinic and it has been so positive already. I understand that confidence in your work doesn’t necessarily mean that you will have success, but it sure provides more hope than dwelling on the negative. I’m so glad we made the change. The new doc. expressed his concern with the lab used for the AMH testing which would explain why my result was 1.0 last October, 1.1 that November, and 0.93 this August – it shouldn’t go up. I had blood drawn yesterday to repeat tests that I had done just a few weeks ago as well as a resting follicle count (which was 17 – up from the 13/14 that the other clinic found a few weeks ago). Monday, I will have a hysteroscopy, a scope to check out my uterus and make sure there is no septum to cause pregnancy complications. If that is all clear, we will move forward with a letrozole IUI cycle next month. 

Finally, a breath of fresh air!

…Or is THIS Square One?

Maybe I was wrong when I posted before. Just this past week, April 24, in the middle of the night, I began to have such severe cramps and bleeding that I woke up at 1:45 a.m. The pain rivaled the pain of my miscarriage. I was wide awake in pain for 2 hours until the extra strength quick-release acetaminophen kicked in. I continued to take the maximum dosage, staggered throughout the whole next day.

This makes me wonder if what I thought was my first period post miscarriage (27 day cycle) was actually just the conclusion of my miscarriage. I had just lost a bit more tissue the day before that first period started. I would guess the severe cramps this time around indicate my first actual period. That would make this period 61 days from the day I miscarried at 11 weeks.

I haven’t gone back to my RE because I frankly don’t think I could handle any more negative information of another reminder of “you don’t have many eggs left” and “the ones you have aren’t of good quality” and “you’ll likely go into menopause in your mid 30’s.” If I don’t ever have to go back, I won’t. We proved the statistics wrong once, so we will do it again. My AMH went from 1.0 to 1.1 in just two months with diet, acupuncture, massage, reduction in stress, and lots of prayers.

Keeping you all in my thoughts.