10 weeks and all the feelings

Feeling excited, happy, tired, nauseated, grateful, hungry, thirsty, shocked, giddy, denial, sad, happy again and more. The feelings are all so there and yet… there is a numbness. A feeling that I’m making this all up. Feeling that somehow, I have messed this all up. Feeling disconnected.

AND THEN we see this little one. We are here. God brought us through it all.

 

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8 weeks 3 days, heartbeat 172!

We still have a little bub brewing! And baby is right on track with our last ultrasound (7 weeks measured 6 weeks 3 days – 9 weeks measured 8 weeks 3 days). Baby wasn’t sitting in a very photogenic position and wasn’t moving much, just swiping around with hands and fingers.

I’ll be honest, I’ve had to repeat to myself that “everything will be fine, no matter how this goes” as I’m having the hardest time believing this is real (even though I’m still experiencing the “comfort” of nausea). ;)

I will have an appointment with my high-risk OB at 10 weeks, so in a week and a half or so. We will have another ultrasound that day and talk about what’s next. Right now, what’s next is the count down for meds. I have 20 more progesterone injections, 5 more estrogen injections, and about 40 more estradiol pills either by mouth or suppository. It will be nice to move on from this part of our lives.

Today, we had our last scheduled appointment at our fertility clinic. We’ve been going there since 2012 and we finally have met the end of our fertility journey. We look forward to joining the clinic on the celebration days now, hopefully, with two IVF babes in arms. <3

 

 

8 weeks – bleh :S

I am seriously so thankful for feeling this nasty. It is a comfort to me that SOMEthing is actually going on! It’s too early to have a baby bump, so anything that shows is just bloat from hormones or food, or both. It’s too early to feel baby move. I remember counting kicks when J was a baby. That gave me some reassurance that he was doing just fine.

The only thing I’ve got to even hint that I’m pregnant is this nasty first trimester nausea (“morning” sickness) and extreme fatigue. Fatigue like I once went to bed around 11p and rose at 6:30a with a normal day of work in between the repeat of that. Last night, I went to bed at 9p, woke up at 7:30a, took a one hour nap with Toddler J in the afternoon, and I’m ready to get off to bed again…. but it’s only 7:30p…. so I’ll wait.

The other part of being mildly nauseous and hungry all the time is strange, too. I’m craving spaghetti-o’s tonight and I don’t think I’ve had them since college, 2003ish.

Again, I’m so grateful for these symptoms because I would be otherwise 100% convinced that nothing was changing, not even a chance.

This first trimester stuff is no joke! Kudos to ladies that have done this when it’s recent enough they can even remember what the first tri is like. I’m sure I felt this way with J, but I just don’t remember. Figured I should write it down just in case anyone else was feeling crazy, like I just need to hibernate until week 14….. bleh.       ;)

7 Weeks, 1 Day

We are officially past the 7 week mark!

Nausea and exhaustion were in full force yesterday, so I’m finally getting to the all the things today. I have no appointments this week other than acupuncture. We are staying home for the 4th which is rather unusual. I can only remember one other time we did this and we crawled up on our roof to catch the firework displays across the city. Tomorrow, we will be taking in as many of the neighborhood festivities as possible, then visiting friends for the afternoon and evening celebrations. I might need to just bring my own chair wherever we go… and maybe a pillow.

Speaking of which, a nap sounds really nice right now. Hope you all have a wonderful holiday tomorrow!