I am a science experiment.

If I didn’t feel like an experiment before, I certainly do now. We tackled the “unknown” causing us to not conceive when we enlisted the help of IVF and were gifted with baby J. Now, adding to that “unknown” my battered and scarred uterus, and we are all left scratching our heads.

This month was prepared to be a mock cycle, trying new meds to build up the uterine lining sufficiently. We are up against quite a challenge due to the severity of the scar tissue deep in the uterus. So, of course, my body would decide to rebel against all reason and, even while on estrogen, it would decide to begin sloughing off the functional layer of uterine lining that we are so desperately trying to build…. 7 days early.

It’s day 14, but my body is acting like we are on day 21 or further. I’ve had medicated cycles before where the sloughing didn’t begin until well past day 28. What is going on?

The orders are to stay on meds unless the bleeding continues, then we go back to birth control pills, but either way, we keep our final appointment next week. I can’t imagine what my doc is going to say. I hope he will have experience with sassy uterus’ like mine and have a plan all ready to go, with extra support during the last two weeks so we keep things from falling apart too soon like they did this time.

I do feel that things are progressing in the right direction. I feel more bloated in my lower abdomen – not pleasant, but when the goal is to build and promote blood flow, I think this is a positive. The acupuncture seems to have eliminated any cramping associated with all of this, so that’s great, and it’s also helped immensely with my anxiety and general feeling of being overwhelmed by the unexpected/disappointment/”sky is falling” moments. I don’t know what did the trick to get rid of the fluid (acupuncture, viagra, pentoxy, or cutting out dairy/sugar), but it was gone yesterday. Hopefully, we can keep it away. I kind of expected some strange effects from the viagra, but there is nothing to report. Ever since I started taking the pentoxy with food, the nausea/headache hasn’t returned.

So, I now see a chiropractor, acupuncturist, and fertility specialist on the regular – they are all amazing and wonderful, I might add. I have eliminated gluten from my diet and nearly eliminated dairy and sugar. I take supplements three times a day, a various concoction of prescription meds which change each month and go in both ends, and at least a couple times a week, I give myself an injection (sometimes subQ, sometimes IM).

This has become my normal.

Daily, I remind myself how lucky I am to have this life with my husband, toddler, cat, dog, house of my own, parents, brother, in-laws, and friends who are always willing to listen and help any way they can. My new normal is wild, but it won’t last long in the grand scheme, just as time with my loved ones will pass all too quickly.

Soaking in the moments that bring me joy and doing my best to smile through the rest.

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Meds are here!

All the meds arrived yesterday! I have been through them all twice now, checking that they’re all there and making sure I know what to do with each one.
IVF Meds
Acupuncture today was even better than last week which was very relaxing. Both of these latest treatments have been face-down which I think I prefer over laying on my back.

I’m sticking with my diet changes (avoiding gluten, wheat, dairy, sugar, and caffeine) and my supplements (prenatal vitamin, calcium, magnesium, vitamin D, methylfolate, methylcobalamin B-12, P-5-P B-6, and DHA/EPA). I will stop the low dose aspirin tomorrow as it is “stim. day 1.”

I also put a request in with Mr. Wonderful to watch only funny movies and tv shows from tomorrow until egg retrieval. He reminded me that our IVF nurse said the medication should make me happy since it is dominantly female hormones. I certainly hope that is the case, but just to be safe, we’re still planning on lots of “funnies” around here.

I left about 3-4 inches of hair on the salon floor today! I decided I needed a fresh look to go along with everything else. Time to move on! Here we go!

P.S. I tried hypnosis and imagery cd samples, but it was not for me. I fell in love with Daniel Levin’s “Zen Cards” and found them as an app! A great way to start out and end the day or distract from stressful moments throughout the day.

Big Day

Today was a big day. We met with the financial consultant (signed papers). We also met with our IVF nurse (medication and injection info AND signed more papers) and I began to chug 32 oz. of water. We were also informed that due to my egg health (low AMH), we would be doing a dual trigger. The additional medicine would be put into our pharmacy to arrive with the other medications. Then, we were off to the trial embryo transfer (TET) with a very full bladder.

Nurse checked it first, then Doc showed up and applauded my “good job” (haha) of filling my bladder sufficiently. I wanted to ask how many ladies pee on him in the process, but I refrained (yes, I was afraid I was going to do this, so I had a change of clothes in the car). The transfer was complicated by an obstruction of sorts and Doc said he would explore further with the following hysteroscopy. He was still able to pretty easily get the catheter right where it needed to be. Doc left and the nurse did our doppler ultrasound. My blood flow didn’t seem to be as free as they would like, so I will continue to avoid caffeine and inform my acupuncturist, increasing appointments to twice a week.

The hysteroscopy revealed the tissue complicating the TET and Doc was able to make necessary changes that will hopefully make our real FET (frozen embryo transfer) a breeze.

A big day. A good day.

Prep for Day One

Yesterday, I met with my new acupuncturist. I look forward to working with her more. We have appointments set up for another this week and then once a week through egg retrieval near the end of February.

Today was my first day of oral contraceptives to prepare for day one of ivf stimulation drugs.

Tomorrow, both of us go in to have blood drawn for some labs they want to run prior to starting the stimulation meds.

Next week, we both go in for about 3.5 hours of injection training, financial planning, and more tests. They will do an analysis for him and a doppler ultrasound (to check blood flow), hysteroscopy (a camera analysis of the uterus), and a trail embryo transfer (no embryos involved for now).

At this time, the official “day one” is February 14, but I feel like today is the first day one. I know this process will not come to conclusion until sometime near the end of April or beginning of May, but I can’t help get excited. After this, we will know more than we know now. We may have some answers. We may have a baby or few!

IUI #2 Again!

Here we go! Day 3 of this cycle.
5mg Letrozole days 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 in the A.M.
75 units Menopur days 7, 8, 9 in the P.M.
Ultrasound on day 10, hopefully followed by HCG trigger and IUI then BFP, right? That’s how the plan goes… right?

P.S. Anybody else have night sweats and trouble sleeping leading up to a new cycle? I’m also wondering if I’m losing more hair than normal. My estrogen has been really high (95 yesterday). Maybe that’s a cause? Anybody else? Ideas? Should I be asking my doc about this? I suppose so.

A breath of fresh air!

We met with a new doctor at a new clinic and it has been so positive already. I understand that confidence in your work doesn’t necessarily mean that you will have success, but it sure provides more hope than dwelling on the negative. I’m so glad we made the change. The new doc. expressed his concern with the lab used for the AMH testing which would explain why my result was 1.0 last October, 1.1 that November, and 0.93 this August – it shouldn’t go up. I had blood drawn yesterday to repeat tests that I had done just a few weeks ago as well as a resting follicle count (which was 17 – up from the 13/14 that the other clinic found a few weeks ago). Monday, I will have a hysteroscopy, a scope to check out my uterus and make sure there is no septum to cause pregnancy complications. If that is all clear, we will move forward with a letrozole IUI cycle next month. 

Finally, a breath of fresh air!

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