Ultrasound updated development: 6 weeks 3 days, 123 bpm

So, we have a baby! Baby measured 6 weeks 3 days instead of 7 weeks. I anticipated this due to how low our first HCG number was, possibly due to late implantation of our frozen embryo. We saw the heartbeat fluttering away at 123 beats per minute. We didn’t get to hear it as they didn’t want to send that much energy toward baby until it is bigger. We have a baby!

Still fighting the nausea, so that’s a great sign. I postponed my meeting with my high-risk OB until later in July. I was scheduled to meet with him next week, which would be 8 weeks by my last period, but since we’re not quiet there yet, I feel more comfortable waiting to have the almost 9 week ultrasound at the fertility clinic, then follow-up with my OB a week and a half later when I’m 10 weeks by our recalculation. It sure seems like a lot of appointments and very early, but it will be nice to have so many opportunities to peek in on baby’s progress over the next month.

We could really use your prayers as we lost Baby Drew, our first pregnancy, right around this time. Drew just stopped growing around 7 weeks. I know that fear is a lie, but the memories are still so close to my heart. Every stage of this pregnancy will be a huge achievement and no day will go unappreciated.

Here’s our first baby photo from yesterday:


27dp5dt / 6 weeks 4 days

Breathe. Believe.

The anxiety I have during this time of wait is, at times, overwhelming. If only I could remember to stop and pray in those moments. Then, breathe and believe.

Still nauseated, so I’m relieved and comforted by that. Exhausted, too, which I didn’t remember from before. In three days, we have our first ultrasound at seven weeks (estimated). I won’t be surprised if baby measures behind because that often happens and then everyone gets worried. I’m trying to fix my mind on all the things that we could do to prepare for the arrival of this babe: get the crib ready, if we use J’s crib then we need to find him a new bedframe (we got a convertible one so it’s a full bed right now), decorating what will be the nursery, getting all the baby clothes washed, getting the baby toys back out, high chair, bouncer, carseat, and… and… and… I’ve already gotten my maternity clothes out and hung up. They smelled a little funky, so I wanted to give them a chance to air out before I decided if they all needed a wash.

So many things will happen around this house and in 2019 with this new addition, this precious miracle. I hope and pray I get to make all those challenging decisions and tackle those changes, because that means we have another little one to accommodate for and adapt to.

Toddler J stops every once in a while to give me a hug and say “hi” to baby brother/baby sister. He names them both and has told me there are two. – ??? – Though, I believe it is scientifically impossible, we will be overjoyed with any or all.

The lovenox bruises have almost entirely faded away. The progesterone and estrogen shots are bleeding more these days. Weird, because I’m only on baby aspirin instead of lovenox. Must be increased blood volume?

Waiting. Not so patiently. Feeling cautiously optimistic.

18dp5dt / 5 weeks 2 days

Staycation. At home with movies. Missing my boys, but I know they are having a great weekend with hubby’s family, Toddler J’s great-grandparents and grandparents.

I remember having heart-rushes or palpitations with J’s pregnancy. I blamed the prednisone, but I haven’t been on it at all this time and I’m still having them each day. It started this week and happens about three times a day. Weird. Must be hormonal!

Trying to stay positive when I have many doubtful thoughts. I’m actually thankful when I have a symptom typical to pregnancy (nausea, fatigue, etc.) because it comforts me, but sometimes puts a sour look on my face until it passes. Another week and a half of waiting for the next appointment. Praying for patience and confidence.

Tuesday June 12 – HCG 439.2 <3

Hubby was home for lunch today, on the phone trying to correct our address with a company, when the call came. I held my breath… then released with gratitude. Pregnancy confirmed!

Then, the rest of the details came pouring in and my brain could barely process it all. Lovenox is all done, but continuing with baby aspirin, progesterone shots, estrace suppositories, and delestrogen shots. We called and told our parents. Later, called and told our siblings. Our hearts are so full!

4 weeks 5 days.

Ultrasound set for Thursday, June 28, to confirm heartbeat, meet with nurse, and get final intralipid treatment.

Wow. We get this chance. I’m still in disbelief. Reminding myself to breathe and believe. Trust and pray. <3

Beta 44 – now grow baby grow!

Staying the course with all meds. Feeling slightly nauseous, tired, all the normal stuff with all the progesterone and what not. 44 is not very high, but it can grow, so now we’re all praying baby sticks around and that number grows exponentially by Tuesday.

So grateful to get this chance. So grateful to have my little man, J.

J was a rainbow baby for us after our miscarriage. Now, two miscarriages later, we are hoping for a second rainbow baby. I guess that would make a double rainbow in our family. Praying for that double rainbow and believing that God knows best.

6dp5dt nauseous and crampy

Nauseous and crampy. Those are my symtoms. Trying to relax and not get ahead of the moment. In this moment, I am pregnant because we know nothing else.

In other news, my bloodwork today came in as expected so there are no changes to my meds. I did ask about taking baby aspirin AND lovenox – and that’s what they want me to do! Good deal.

I have bloodwork again in three days, on Thursday. It will be the baseline hcg and if/when that number is high enough, they will compare it to bloodwork on the following Tuesday, expecting that number to multiply appropriately.

So, I will pray, wait and trust.

4dp5dt and feeling very “normal”

It’s the first Saturday after our smooth, uneventful Tuesday FET of our final embryo, retrieved and fertilized in March of 2013. I cry just thinking about all the love and prayers sent our way during this final chapter in our IVF story.

Just typing that felt so strange.

Symptoms-wise, really nothing out of the ordinary. I’m out of breath and tired but the progesterone and high estrogen are probably to blame. I had some ache/cramping yesterday and a little the day before, but no twinges or things that I remember feeling before. I don’t really have too much anxiety about any of it actually. Just feeling like it’s another normal day with normal things to do… but then taking a step back on everything so I don’t get stressed. And watching embarrassingly funny movies when I might prefer a good action or suspense movie. And eating lots of beets. Oh, and the shots, shots, shots and more shots. That’s not my normal.

About the shots and protocol, I’m not on prednisone this time like I have been in the past. I am, however, on lovenox through hcg/estrogen rise. And still on baby aspirin. Along with estrace suppositories twice a day, estrogen IM twice a week, and PIO every morning.

Definitely feeling God’s presence through all the prayers for courage and peace in this process. My flipchart this morning even said this, “June 2 – ‘Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.’ Philippians 4:6”

Here is embryo #3 and the flower hair tie Toddler J wanted me to wear to meet #3: