22 weeks – I’m not “that” girl…

I’m not “that” girl who gets offended by anyone commenting about my pregnant body. I know it’s totally changing, face, fingers, toes, and definitely tummy! I’m pretty thrilled to get to do this again, yet still surprised it’s actually happening again.

I’m not “that” girl who gets upset when people rub or touch my baby belly. It’s basically like a women’s basketball under my shirt and it tends to bump into or rub on just about anything I try to squeeze by anyway.

I’m not “that” girl who works-out during pregnancy. Really wish I was. Turns out, carrying an extra 15 lbs with loosening joints is a lot of work. I am doing squats and lunges and some arm weights whenever I think about it, but nothing consistent or even close to resembling a work-out.

I’m also not “that” girl who you could easily recognize when pregnant. My face kinda blows up, specifically nose, lips and cheeks – weird, I know. I’m just hoping to keep my jaw in line as it went WAY out of wack last time and took a lot of therapy to chew again. I didn’t recognize my own face after delivering my first son. I don’t expect that anyone else would either.

Why even say any of this? If anyone reads about the opinions or concerns of pregnant women, it would just appear that all pregnant women are upset anyone ever acknowledges they are actually pregnant! I’m definitely pregnant. I’m definitely different and still changing by the day (bump-size at least). I may be a little concerned about the after-effects on my body, but to have the chance to carry and raise a baby, I’d give just about anything.

It’s taken me a while, but I believe I’m actually starting to get to the “fat and happy” part. I don’t know what’s held me down (anxiety, IVF hormone let-down, trauma from other losses, just being too busy) but I’m glad to be getting closer to connecting with our new babe and celebrating the miracle that is life.

20 weeks — whoa-oh! we’re halfway there!

So thankful! Everything looked good today. Right anterior placenta that reaches across that side probably explains why I feel little to no movement most days.

We saw four chambers in the heart, three vessels in the umbilical cord, different parts of the brain measured, along with large arm bones, thickness at back of neck, saw an empty bladder, then full tummy, kidneys, followed by a full bladder, one hand behind head, one over his boy parts, and legs straight up over his head. He kept his chin tucked pretty tightly into his tummy. Cervix length is good. No placenta issues noticed. Good margins between uterine wall and placenta. No scar tissue noticed. No growth restriction.

I keep wondering, how is this actually possible?

How did I have no uterus, severe Asherman’s syndrome, no endometrial lining building on its own, one day of light periods, and yet, here we are?

I guess it’s just God stuff. One day, we will understand.

One day, we will know why both embryo babies transferred in 2016 didn’t have the same fate as this one. One day, we will understand how lucky we actually are to get this life.