Finding balance.

Sometimes, I clean. Almost always, I cook. Rarely, I bake. Often, I am in the moment, enjoying and soaking it in. Sometimes, I fall apart. Many times, I take a deep breath and try again, or walk away. More often now, I’m reading scripture. Always, I love, even if I don’t like the behavior, I love the other human beings trying to do their best like me, even if it’s sometimes, almost always, rarely, or often.

Trying to find a balance between my professional goals and my personal life; fun and the desire for home-made meals, cleanliness, tidy rooms, and a well-behaved and happy toddler; wife and mother and daughter and neighbor and friend.

It’s a first for me since quite a while back. I’m finally able to look for a “normal” balance outside of the IVF realm.

In the midst of IVF, there is no balance. While life is going on outside of treatment (family, professionally, globally), that treatment is all-consuming. Medications. Appointments. Complimentary treatments requiring more appointments to aid the medications or relieve symptoms. More medication: needles and pills and suppositories and supplements and patches and more needles… and more pills.

And the hot/cold highs/lows and crashes.

And the tears. The guilt. The loss.

But the toddler, he is proof that all that stuff can work. He is ridiculously intelligent and challenging and I don’t even care if I only think that because I’m his mom – because I’m his MOM. Something I once thought was quite possibly impossible. I’m so thankful.

 

20 weeks and a new baby pic

We had our anatomy scan today. Our doc confirmed that all is well and said “go shopping!”

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We new the gender fromĀ our PGD (preimplantation genetic diagnosis) testing, but all doubt is now gone because boy parts were also confirmed! He was curled up with his head in his chest for quite a while, knees to elbows, and hands up behind his head. We got one pic where he was trying to put his hands in his mouth. It’s my favorite. He is measuring nearly a week ahead, but that is normal as their growth at this stage can vary by a week or two.

Thanks for cheering us on. We’re so glad we have good news to share!