The pill.

So, while this isn’t big news, we are back on the pill over here. Good news is that I made it through 7 months without ANY medication. No hormones. No pills, patches, injections, ultrasounds, blood draws, nothing. Unfortunately, that changed last week because the duration and strength of my periods were less and less, which is not the way we want things to go if we want to avoid surgery and have any chance at building a lining to transfer our final embryo. Good news, again, is that I DID have a cycle of normal length on a regular basis without any medical assistance.

So, good news and less desirable news, but I’d say I already beat the odds of being in pre-menopause by my mid 30’s (because I’m there, dude). If it weren’t for physician error, I would have a functioning lining in my uterus and have a very good chance of a successful pregnancy. No lawsuit or anger will ever change my circumstances in that concern.

At the moment, the medication plan is to follow the pill for one month, then estradiol by mouth in AM and suppository by PM for 28 days, followed by progesterone pills for 7 days, then, repeat the estradiol/progesterone protocol for 2 more months. So, four months of medication and another evaluation to decide any further course of treatment.

I feel surrounded by babies. My heart still aches to have another. I pray that we will, but I’m also enjoying spoiling Toddler J with all my love and snuggles. He amazes us every day… and challenges us, too.

Our family is experiencing other hardships on his side and mine. We are praying for his father and my brother. Praying for healing that surpasses all expectations.

We ask for your prayers right now, for our family and for our own future. We pray for faith in His will and guidance. We also pray for the knowledge, foresight and wisdom of the medical professionals who provide care for us and our family. I find myself taking my health, strength, sight, etc. for granted every day.

Lord, we are ever so grateful. Help us use these gifts to bring the glory to You. Amen.


Infertility – Asherman’s Syndrome



Good night, sweet prince.

Our first beta on Friday was 7 and that number fell even further to 3 today. I knew it was coming, because a 7 at 11 days past a 5 day transfer is not a good number.

Estrogen is sky high 2000+ and progesterone is over 100. The crash will be fierce.

I did absolutely everything I could do. Prayer. Prayer warriors. Acupuncture twice a week for 6 weeks prior. Blood-building diet. Bone broth. High protein diet. 2-day bedrest. Acupuncture on site before and after transfer. Didn’t lift anything over 10 lbs. Barely used any stairs. Watched funny movies. Ate pineapple core for 5 days after transfer. Took Lupron, Cialis, Pentoxifylline, intralipids IV drip, low dose aspirin, extra vitamin E, food-based prenatal, extra methylated B vitamins, extra vitamin D, estrogen suppositories and injections, progesterone injections, HCG injections, no exercise, no caffeine, no chocolate, no coffee, no dairy, no sugar, no alcohol, no gluten, organic as much as possible, and still… no success.

I cannot take this burden on myself. I did everything there was to do. Now I pray for peace that only God can provide – that which passes all understanding.

But tonight, I say good night to our baby boy, our prince. We will meet you again one day.

Be still.

Exodus 14:14 “The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.”

So, I’m doing my best… Bedrest day 1. My clinic required two days back when we transferred baby J, but now they say just one. Since the transfer in March with one day of bedrest did not work, I’m going back to two days (nobody told me to, I just decided it was best to go with what worked before).

Baby J is at daycare and hubby is at work.

By the way, look at the size of that embryo! The others we transferred were never coming out of their shell like this one. The dense part near the bottom center is the baby and the rest will turn into placenta. The transfer was smooth. No need to give time for the bladder to fill and no need to empty any off the top. In the past, I’ve needed just a little more time or was overfull. Guess that repetition has helped me.

Trying to find funny stuff to watch over the next two weeks. If you have any recommendations, please let me know! I’ll watch “Sisters” for sure. Anything else?

Jimmy Fallon is my “go-to” right now. Here’s one for you all:

Jimmy is hilarious, but Sting… well, he’s Sting… sooo good. And yes, all I’m doing in bed right now is eating.

In less than 24 hours…

…we will get to meet our third frozen embryo. We are cleared for takeoff with our FET scheduled for tomorrow at 2pm. I can hardly believe it!

We are so grateful for all your prayers. Only God could give us the endurance for this and the strength to believe this can work.

The endometrial lining was between 6 and 7mm with a triple-layer. The scars in the basalis layer of my uterus are still there, but “the embryo doesn’t know they are” said our doc today. Ha! Funny stuff he says.

If you want to reach me, I will be doing … well, basically nothing except focusing on positive energy, prayers (for so many people also needing prayers right now), and doing my best not to annoy my loved ones who will be waiting on me for the next 2, or 3, or 6 days. :)

Please stick around and meet us in about eight and half months, little frosty em-baby!

Trigger shot!

okay, we aren’t out of this FET yet! Though my lining is only at 6mm when they’d really like 8, we get to check for fluid again on Monday, and if the fluid is gone we get to transfer on Tuesday!

So, tomorrow is trigger shot day. No more cialis or pentoxifylline or vitamin E extras. Yay!

Had an AMAZING trip with some girlfriends and am geared up for whatever lies ahead. Praise God for his timing!

Don’t worry. Be happy.

(Prepare for TMI.)

I feel like I titled a post that before… Why can’t I actually DO that? I should be excited that we have our FET schedule. Instead, I’m annoyed that it keeps getting delayed. I’m concerned about traveling with all those needles and scripts. I keep thinking, “how can this possibly work? It feels like things are stacked against us!”

Oh, and I’m having a “fat day.”

But then I remember, we are here. We are HERE! In the past two and a half years, five surgeries and LOTS of hormone pills oral and suppositories in addition to injections and one failed FET, we are finally HERE, at another FET chance again.

So, tried something new by my choice this time: Nuvaring (because protocol requires me to be on birth control regardless of the fact that I have literally no chance to get pregnant without extreme medical assistance). I gotta say, it’s nice to not need to take one more pill every day. If anything, I lean toward the sad side rather than “evil clone” side (brought to me and all those around me by “the pill”), so I’m good with that.

The next FET day is set for Sept. 20. Lupron starts next week. This FET cycle will involve Cialis, Pentoxifylline, Vitamin E, Folgard (or the equivalent), Doxycycline for me and hubby, estrace pills, progesterone injections, delestrogen injections, but no prednisone. Lovenox will be added after transfer and intralipid treatment will happen a few times before and after transfer. There will be many opportunities to sample my blood and view my insides on ultrasound, transvaginally. Of course, acupuncture will be a constant. I have visited her one a week since my most recent surgery in late April. I will see her twice a week in the month leading up to transfer and more often if needed. She is able to eliminate the crippling pain that accompanies the Cialis. She is able to help me manage the swings from hormones.

Acupuncture is my dose of “happy” in the rest of this mix.

Toddler snuggles and the same from my hubby are also a good dose of happy.

I got this. I got this. I got this. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this.

If you’d pray for us, that would help A LOT, too.

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